Bringing Up Baby
by ifonly13
Summary: The trials and tribulations of raising a newborn.  Sequel to All My Secrets.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Remember, not even a week ago, when I said I was going to wait a while to continue All My Secrets? How I had other story ideas to play with before checking in on Castle, Kate, and little Roy? Well, basically, the Castle living in my head wouldn't shut up about how perfect his son was and how perfect a mother Kate was being, and tons of other completely romantic and adorable stuff. The only way to quiet him is to write it out. So, here I go, diving into the All My Secrets sequel - Bringing Up Baby._

**_Disclaimer: Since I'll never be Andrew Marlowe, I would settle on becoming Terri Miller... She's pretty perfect too._**

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><p>When Castle opened the apartment door, back from running errands, he wasn't surprised to find the lights off and the blinds pulled in the living room. Soft classical music was coming from the iPod dock on the coffee table. He recognized the tune as "Fantastia on Greensleeves," one that Kate was so fond of. He put away the ice cream and other freezer foods before moving onto boxes of cereal and cans of soup.<p>

Folding up the reusable grocery bags and placing them in the closet, he moved to the living room. There, sprawled out on the couch, was Kate. Roy was on her chest sleeping soundly with his fists curled into Kate's shirt. Her breathing was steady, their son's head rising and falling as she inhaled and exhaled.

Instead of waking them up, Castle went into the study, grabbing his laptop and setting up in the armchair that sat kitty-corner to the couch. Before opening the latest chapter of the next book, he dug his phone from his pocket and snapped a picture of his wife and child. It wasn't often enough when the two of them slept at the same time.

It had been a week of sleepless nights for both of them. He had been used to them from raising Alexis as Meredith went right back into acting after their daughter's birth. And Kate had long ago trained her body to run on little to no sleep thanks to the hours she spent on cases in the precinct. But those years of sleepless nights were due to a crying newborn that didn't let her crash when her own body ran itself thin. They were at the beck and call of Roy and, sometimes, his needs didn't fall at the right moments.

But sometimes, things lined up just right. Like now, as Kate and Roy slept on the couch and Castle had a few moments to work out this chapter.

Twenty minutes of his clicking keys and quiet piano music later, Castle saw Roy stir. Before he could get up to take the newborn so Kate could get a few more minutes, she, too, shifted.

"Hey," she muttered, obviously still sleepy. "When'd you get back?"

He placed the laptop on the coffee table, scooping Roy up into the crook of his arm so Kate could sit up. "About half an hour ago. How long was he out?"

She sat up, crossing her legs under her and running a hand through her tangled hair. "Maybe an hour." Despite the exhaustion that was evident in her voice, she was smiling. "You pick up ice cream?"

"Who do you think you're talking to?" he asked, slightly affronted. He ran his finger down Roy's fist, a grin breaking out when the little hand wrapped around his forefinger. "Yes. We now have all of Ben & Jerry's living in our freezer."

"Get any writing done?" Kate asked, tilting her head toward the laptop. "I know it's been hard lately."

"Not hard, per se. Just a matter of re-arranging peak writing hours. It's harder on you and there's no use denying it," he added, knowing there was a protest coming. "Do you know when you're planning on going back to work?"

Kate got up, stretching. She had been living in her pajamas since getting back from the hospital, feeling no need to dress up just to wander the apartment, rocking Roy to sleep between feeding him and changing diapers. She pulled down a glass, holding it out to Castle. "You want water?" He shook his head, so she took the time waiting for the tap water to cool down to organize her thoughts.

But he butted in. "Because you don't have to. Go back, you know."

She sighed, closing her eyes. "I know. Listen, can't we talk about this later?" From his mildly hurt expression, Kate backpedaled. "Just not two minutes after my first real nap in a week and maybe when we're alone?"

"Kate, we're not going to be alone for a while. We have a newborn."

Drink forgotten, she leaned her elbows on the counter, resting her head in her hands. "I know." She heard him get up, heard the little gurgle from Roy as he moved over to the kitchen. Kate felt him at her side and made the effort to smile. "It's been all of a week, Castle. I have to go back because it's who I am, but give me some time to think of when, okay?" She pushed away from the counter, getting up on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips.

And then grinned when he placed a hand over Roy's eyes. "Minor in the immediate area! Tone down the PDA, Kate."

"You love it." Crisis temporarily averted, she picked up the glass of water to take a sip, leaning against the counter.

"That's true…" he mused. "We do love Mommy, don't we, Roy? Even when she scars you for life by kissing Daddy."

Kate sidled up against his side, looking down at Roy. Every time she looked at him, she swore her heart could explode out of her chest. "God, Castle, how'd we get so lucky?"

"Still waiting for the answer myself," he responded. "Let me take him for an hour or so. You can use all the sleep you can get."

"Thanks, but he'll be hungry again in no time. You'd just be waking me up in ten minutes." Before the words were out of her mouth, the bundle in Castle's arm let out a wail. "Or right now. Hand him over."

Castle watched as she walked back to the couch, bouncing the crying baby gently as she sat. "Hey, kiddo."

She was a natural. Meredith hadn't had this connection to Alexis when she was born. Yes, she was maternal and caring, but she was always distant, always focused on the next role or contract negotiation. Kate had dropped everything work-related, sending all the files she had brought to the apartment back to the precinct so she wasn't tempted to dive into something. Her every action revolved around Roy.

Still, Castle was waiting for the breakdown. It happened with every new parent. Meredith had hers about two weeks after Alexis's birth. His had come after a month. He had a feeling that he would have to look for Kate's meltdown from the way she expertly hid such moments.

He took her glass of water and set it on the coffee table in front of her, sitting next to her on the couch.

"Thanks," she said, supporting Roy with one arm and taking the glass with the other. "I was thinking of visiting the precinct tomorrow. Just stopping by to say hi, you know? Want to come along?"

"And pass up the opportunity to show off my son to Ryan and Esposito? I think not!" he exclaimed softly, leaning over to kiss her neck. "Plus, he can wear the little police outfit I picked out!"

She looked up from Roy's chocolate-brown eyes and raised a brow at Castle. "You mean the little uniform you found at the Build-a-Bear store?" When he just nodded, she shook her head. "No way. First impressions and all that."

"Aw, come on, Kate!" Castle whined. "He's a week old. No one is going to be judging him on his outfit on the first trip out into public."

"Except the paparazzi that is still camped outside the building. Save the uniform for Halloween, okay?" She held Roy out to Castle. "Here. Hold him for a second." Kate re-buttoned one of Castle's dress shirts that she had long ago claimed as her own. She was about to ask for him back, but Roy had just shut his eyes and looked more than content in the crook of Castle's arm. So, instead of reclaiming the boy, Kate curled into Castle's side, resting her head on his bicep.

"I still want to know where his brown eyes came from," she murmured.

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Babies eyes change color until about six months in. He'll keep us guessing until then. It's my hope they settle on green."

"Didn't we go over this? He's going to have blue eyes," Kate said with certainty.

Castle laughed and kissed her upturned face. "Care to bet on that, Detective?"

Rubbing her nose with his, Kate replied, "Absolutely. In six months, it'll be October. His eyes stick with green, he can be a detective for Halloween. They go with blue, I get to pick the Halloween costume. Deal?"

"You run a tough bargain, but yes, you have a deal." A third kiss before he dipped his head to talk directly to his sleeping son. "Royce Arthur, you better look like your mother in six months or she will never let me live this down. Got it?"

Roy answered with a gurgle.

"Good."

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><p><em>AN: Well, this wrote itself in the course of six hours. All in a single day. I actually took a poll on tumblr as to whether people wanted this sequel now or later and the resounding answer was "now." It was a silly question to ask in the first place since most of the reviews from AMS said they would eagerly await a sequel..._

_Writing a baby story is much harder, I'm finding, than writing a pregnancy story. I'm trying to keep the development of Roy accurate to real life (which means, instead of having Pregnancy Week-by-Week open, I have Newborn Development Week-by-Week open). All accuracy mistakes are mine - if you have raised a newborn and would like to give me hints and suggestions, I welcome them!_

_Review away!_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: It's been a long, LONG time since I've visited my favorite little family. They didn't really want to share anything at all with me after that first chapter. But I was on a baby kick and wanted to check in on them._

_**Disclaimer: That's a negative on owning anything to do with Castle.**  
><em>

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><p>Kate's in the shower, her first real one in a week. Castle hadn't let her argue when he plucked Roy from her arms after breakfast, insisting that he can look after the dozing infant while she took the time to wash her hair and shave. She had sighed, pushing up on her tiptoes to kiss him with a murmured "thank you" as she went to shower.<p>

She'd been protective of Roy, able to keep the three of them in the safe bubble of the loft, spending their days lounging on the couch or in bed with the baby between them. This trip to the precinct today would be the first adventure into the real world with the newborn and Castle was anxious to see how she'd react. He remembered his first time out the door with Alexis when she was a few days old, running out for more diapers since Meredith was off at an audition. He'd been a bundle of nerves, worried about the prospect of paparazzi hovering outside the building and foiling his attempts to keep his child from the eye of the public until she had the ability to decide if she wanted her every action photographed and printed up for the world's consumption.

But Kate's reaction was unpredictable. She was exhausted, not sleeping enough or barely catching a nap in the rocking chair in Roy's room with the baby sleeping in her arms. There were many nights when Castle would wake up to an empty bed but find his wife snoring gently upstairs.

In his arms, Roy gurgled, waving his arms until Castle gave him one of his fingers. The boy immediately pulled the digit into his mouth, sucking on it. "Mommy's tired, little boy. Hopefully she'll wake up after a real shower. Big day for everyone, you know."

He wandered from the kitchen to the living room, into the study where he heard Kate singing softly to herself in the shower. He hoped she was taking her time, working the kinks from her shoulders and back in the hot water. Castle turned and headed back into the living room, bouncing Roy gently.

"So, Roy, there's a few things I need to tell you about your uncles and aunt at the station." He waited until Roy's chocolate brown eyes were looking straight into his. The eyes he was still hoping would turn mossy. "They're trouble-makers, bad influences, not like Mommy and Daddy. You need to keep them in line so they don't corrupt young minds like yours. Understand?"

The infant made a sound around Castle's finger that the man took as an affirmative.

"Good. I knew you were a smart boy, taking after your father."

"Ha!" He turned at the sound of her laugh, found Kate standing in the doorway to the study. She was drying the ends of her hair with a hand towel with a smile on her face. It was one unhindered by exhaustion, one that he hadn't seen in the past few days.

Castle had to smile in order to mirror her. "I mean, we both know that you get your brains from your brilliant mother." He bent his head down to stage-whisper, "You get my good looks."

Kate slung the towel over his shoulder, scratching a hand over her scalp to shake out the last of the moisture in her water-darkened hair as she leaned over their son. "So you finally agree that he'll have your blue eyes?"

"Minus those, of course." He looked over, unable to pass up the opportunity to kiss her with her face so close to his. "You ready to go?" he asked, noticing that she was already dressed in jeans and a deep green shirt that reached her elbows, a light grey scarf looped around her neck.

She smiled again, giving him a final peck on the lips. "Yes. I'll get the carrier from upstairs. You change, unless you plan on showing up in pajamas?"

He pursed his lips, looking thoughtful as he nodded. "New style I'm working on."

"Yeah, I don't think so." She headed off toward the stairs. "Casual, Castle. Just going to see the boys and Lanie and maybe find lunch."

"Yes, ma'am," he shot back, already through the study and in the bedroom.

Kate walked the hall upstairs until she reached Roy's room. It faced the east, the sunlight streaming into the room brightening it. They had continued to decorate it, adding onto the few framed pictures on the walls with sports memorabilia or propping notes up on the bureau from people in the precinct or their family. The star mobile was spinning with the breeze from the heat vents at the top of the wall. She straightened the blanket over the rocking chair, one of the soft throws she had stolen from the couch downstairs to leave up here for the nights when she found herself sleeping in the chair.

She grabbed the travel bag from under the changing table, checking it to make sure there were diapers and wipes in the pockets before searching Roy's crib for the little stuffed dog that Alexis had given to him the day after they were released from the hospital. It was a brown and white dog, a navy ribbon tied around his neck. Nothing special, but it meant everything coming from Alexis. Kate tucked the dog into the outside pocket of the bag, snapped it shut, and put the strap over her shoulder before picking up the carrier from its spot in the corner of the room.

Downstairs, Castle was already changed into jeans and an unbuttoned white shirt over a black v-neck, whispering in Roy's ear. Kate was certain that her husband thought that if he planted the seed of green eyes into Roy's mind, the boy would magically change his eye color.

"Conspiring against me?" she asked, descending the stairs.

Castle looked shocked at the suggestion. "Never." He met her at the bottom of the stairs, taking the carrier so he could strap Roy in. "You have his-"

"Dog?" Kate pointed to the little head poking out from under the flap of the travel bag. "Duh."

"How could I ever doubt you?" he asked, giving her another kiss because she was there and was already a step ahead of him.

She tossed him his coat as she pulled her own on. "A question I've yet to find an answer for. Come on, let's go expose our son to the real world."

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><p>It took them ten minutes to get from the door of the precinct to the bank of elevators. The two weren't more than thirty steps from one another, but there were people between them that wanted to see the youngest member of the Twelfth. The desk sergeant insisted on meeting Roy, remarking on how handsome the sleeping baby was. A gaggle of uniforms stepped off the elevator and stopped to say hello before going to grab their black-and-whites at the start of shift.<p>

"Finally," Kate sighed as the elevator hit the fourth floor. She shifted the carrier up further into the crook of her elbow as she stepped off.

It still felt like home. She hadn't been sure it would have that same sense of belonging that she now felt in the nursery back at the loft. But the smell of bad coffee, of sweat, and whiteboard markers still held memories of belonging. Kate was quiet as she stepped around the divider in the precinct into the bullpen.

Esposito was the first to look up from his computer, a grin cracking over his face. "Is that my favorite nephew coming to visit?"

Ryan aimed a kick at his partner's shin. "Aiden would be hurt to hear you say such things, you know."

"Good thing Aiden isn't around to hear them," Esposito shot back.

Kate was smiling at her team's banter as they came over to her desk where she set Roy down in his carrier. She was enchanted by the quiet hush that had come over the usually buzzing bullpen. The bustle and chaos had calmed for a moment in the presence of the baby and she was amazed at the power Roy had over her boisterous co-workers.

"Figured it was time to show him off now that he's cleaned up a bit," Castle said, taking his usual seat as Kate sat at her desk. "We know how you two get squeamish around blood."

Esposito punched Castle in the shoulder as he rounded the desk. "Hello there, Roy," he cooed, his voice taking on that tone that most people got while talking to babies and pets.

The infant's eyes opened, brown meeting brown, sleepily blinking at Esposito's face. He yawned, stretching his little fists up in the air before reaching for one of the detective's fingers. Roy grinned, his eyes finally breaking from Esposito's to find Castle's, letting out a gurgle of delight.

Kate snaked her arms around Esposito to unbuckle Roy from the carrier and Esposito didn't hesitate to pick the newborn up, cradling him expertly in the crook of his arm. "What's up, little dude?" he asked, bouncing Roy as he circled around Kate's desk a few times, talking quietly to the baby.

She looked over at Castle when his hand covered hers on the desk. "Keep an eye on them. Those two," he said with a head-nod toward where Esposito was passing Roy over to his partner, "will have him plotting our demise in no time."

"Oh please, Castle. You know you'd demand to be in on that plan," she said, giving him a light kick with the toe of her sneaker. "All you men ganging up on me might become an issue."

"Kate, when are you going to learn that I could never gang up against you?"

She leaned forward, her hand on his knee. "The baby shower is a case in point."

He glared, knowing she had a valid argument.

"Well Beckett, I think you need to watch this one very carefully." Ryan had returned to the side of her desk, Roy holding his hand and playing with his fingers. "He'll be breaking hearts before you know it."

Castle got a mischievous glint in his eye, sitting forward on the chair. "We could do an arranged marriage! Your Claire and Roy here would make an adorable couple!"

Ryan scrunched his face up as Kate did the same thing. "What is this, Castle? Game of Thrones?" Kate asked, shaking her head. "No inter-department arranged marriages."

The elevator was barely heard over the argument over marriage but Lanie was definitely seen as she flew around the corner, nearly plowing over a uniform in the process.

"I got here as soon as I could. Double homicide down on Wall Street came in just as you guys texted me and I had to finish the pre-lim," she huffed out, dragging the chair from one of the other detective's desks over to sit next to her friend. Then she looked up at Ryan, held out her hands. "Hand over my newest nephew, will you?"

Ryan shook his fingers free from Roy before settling the baby into Lanie's arms. Her loose hair was a new plaything and his little fingers were quickly tangled up in the dark strands. "Hello there, chico," she said, trying to reclaim her hair from the baby.

"Don't even bother trying, Lanie," Kate said. "He's fascinated by it."

"Because he has so little himself," Castle added.

Lanie stopped trying, letting Roy grab more of her hair and pull some of it into his mouth. "Already entranced by a woman's hair. You're on the right track, Roy." Lanie looked up to smile at Kate and Castle. "And how are you two doing with this charmer?"

"Tired. Overjoyed. Pick an adjective," Castle offered, rubbing Kate's shoulder. "He's hard not to love."

Roy yawned, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. When they opened, they were wider than before. His face cracked a wavering smile, his eyes darting from unfamiliar face to unfamiliar face. He was just about to wail when Lanie bounced him in her arms.

"Shh… Here's Mommy, okay?" she said, handing Roy over to Kate. "No need to scare the entire precinct and prove how quickly these tough cops can be undone by a baby."

Kate got up from the chair, holding Roy against her shoulder as she started toward the conference room, humming softly. The tune didn't matter, but she was sure that it was the sound and the vibrations from her chest that traveled into the little body nestled against it that calmed him down.

The conference room was empty and dark and Kate didn't bother to turn the light on as she walked around the long table.

"Lots of new faces, huh, little boy?" He was quieting against her shoulder and she could feel the drool starting to seep into the fabric of her shirt. She ignored it, kicking a chair into line as she passed it. "They're friends, though. You'll see a lot more of them as you grow up. Them and their families and more of our friends."

Roy was making little noises into her ear, his hands playing with the hairs at the end of her ponytail, twisting the strands around his fingers happily.

"You ready to go back out? Just a little while longer and we'll find someplace for a quick lunch and head back home." She turned her head enough to see her son's body, the hint of his short brown hair where her hand held his head up. "Yeah? Let's do this, Roy."

When she left the dark room, Ryan and Esposito were missing. Lanie was chatting with Castle, her hands doing most of the talking.

"Where'd the boys go off to?" she asked, standing near her desk instead of sitting again.

"Got a call and had to roll out. They did say something about the possibility of having a little party in a week or so to let Jenny and the kids meet Roy." Castle looked up at Kate when she quirked a brow. "If we were comfortable with it. Just the people we know. Plus, little Claire isn't much older than Roy. You and Jenny could trade tips."

Kate smiled. "Sounds like a date."

Lanie gave a quiet clap, careful not to startle Roy who had just calmed down with Kate's hair twisted around his hands. "Well, I've got two bankers downtown that are just waiting to meet me." She gave Kate an awkward hug, careful not to squish Roy against her friend's shoulder. "It was so nice seeing you again, girl." She walked around Kate to kiss Roy's cheek. "You, too, Roy."

"Hey! What about me?" Castle was protesting from his seat, looking up from the doodle he had been drawing on the back of one of Kate's old reports from before Roy's birth.

The medical examiner waved a hand in his direction. "Yeah, I guess I missed you, too, Castle."

Kate buckled Roy into the carrier, reclaiming her hair and tightening the elastic on the ponytail. "We'll take the elevator down together. We're headed off to find lunch of some kind."

The elevator was crowded from people floors above them. Castle kept an eye on Roy, gauging his emotions but found only amusement at all the faces making goo-goo eyes at him. Castle had to admit that he was amused as well; the tough men from Narcotics on the sixth floor singing little ditties down at his son was an interesting sight.

They split off from Lanie at the sidewalk, the medical examiner heading for a cab to bring her back to the morgue while Kate and Castle started in the direction of Remy's. Castle's arm came around Kate's waist, tugging her closer so their hips bumped.

"Nothing to worry about," he whispered into her ear. "He's got the entire precinct under his thumb already."

Kate grinned, turning her head to look at him. "Well of course he does. He's got your good looks."

Castle kissed the tip of her nose. "Minus the eyes."

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><p><em>AN: I must first thank Jane Espenson. She's a writer and producer on Once Upon a Time but she also has a twitter. She holds writing sprints at least once a day where the goal is to write (or do something you've been putting off) for an hour without distractions. I wrote 95% of this chapter during her latest writing sprint._


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: Winter Break for college is sort of like mid-season hiatus for TV shows. Except not.**_

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><p>Castle woke up to the sound of crying. It was still dark as he rolled over, throwing a hand out to see if Kate was still sleeping or if she had been the one to wake up first. The sheets on her side of the bed were tossed back and only the ghost of her heat lingered on the fabric. Up first, he concluded, and a while ago from the cooler temperature of the sheets on her side.<p>

He got up, stretching his arms over his head to crack his back, determined to go take over the job of comforting Roy. He stubbed his toe on the bedframe, muttering a curse under his breath as he started toward the stairs and the source of the wails. The light was peeking from Roy's room, a line across the floor that grew wider as he pushed the door open. He gave a little knock on the doorframe so he wouldn't startle Kate.

She spun around, Roy still holding one of her hands as he cried. Unlike their son, her tears were silent as she continued to try and quiet Roy.

"Kate…"

She turned away, needing to do this herself. She started another pace across the nursery, whispering through the lump in her throat down at the infant. Her hands weren't quite as steady as they normally were as she held their son's head against her shoulder, bouncing him gently. A sharp contrast to her own shaking shoulders.

Castle took a step into the room, lowering the light with the dimmer switch before placing a hand on her shoulder, holding on even as she attempted to throw it off with a shrug. "Kate, what's wrong?"

"He won't stop crying." Kate turned around, sucking in a breath as if she was drowning and she had finally reached the surface. "Why won't he stop crying, Castle?"

"Let me see him." He kept his voice soft, holding out his arms but not pushing her. When Kate just curled her body closer to Roy, Castle brushed his hand down her loose, tangled curls. "This isn't some sort of test, Kate. You aren't going to pass or fail if you break down for a few minutes. Just… let me."

She let Castle take Roy from her, then turned and left the room, sliding down the wall in the hallway, letting the sobs finally come out, choked sounds that ripped his heart right from his chest. Castle felt torn between comforting the mother crumbling outside the nursery and the still-crying baby in his arms. "First things first," he murmured, turning his head down to Roy. "Hey, buddy," he said, just loud enough for his voice to be heard over the wailing. "You're scaring Mommy, Royce. Not much scares her but you're doing a pretty good job of it right now."

His son's cries had quieted, so Castle laid him down in the cradle. He tucked the stuffed dog against his side. "Listen, buddy. Mommy's trying her best. She's new at this, so give her a chance to adjust her learning curve." Roy's eyes blinked shut, his mouth falling open into a little oh. Castle ran a finger over his cheek before tucking the blanket up to his waist. He turned the light off before closing the door until it was only cracked open.

Castle turned the corner outside of Roy's nursery expecting to find Kate still on the ground, but the hallway was empty. He rubbed his hand over his face, trying to use the pressure on his eyes to wake him up enough to deal with Kate. He took the stairs slowly, not sure if he was taking his time in order to figure out what to say to her or if he was just being careful in his exhaustion not to trip. Only the light in the study was on, something he assumed Kate had turned on in order to prevent him from running into his desk like he always did.

The shower was running. It shouldn't have surprised him; Kate often took scalding hot showers to calm down. Again, Castle hesitated at the doorway of the bedroom, unsure whether she wanted to talk. The clock on the bedside table said it was nearly two in the morning. Neither one of them would be getting much sleep with Roy waking up every few hours. A shower might be enough to get him through the rest of the day without falling asleep at breakfast. He tossed his tee shirt onto the bed, opening the bathroom door to a wave of steam from the heat of the water.

Kate wasn't even standing in the shower. She was sitting against one of the smooth tile walls, her knees pulled up to her chest, her dark hair a curtain around her face.

"Oh, Kate…"

She looked up as if she hadn't heard him enter, pushing the wet locks of her hair back from her face. "I'm fine." The phrase fell from her lips, practiced and familiar.

"No. You're not." He knew her defense mechanisms from years of pushing past them, ignoring them when he knew it mattered. This was one of those moments. When he knelt down to wrap his arms around her shoulders, Kate jerked away. Castle refused to let her, pulling her head into rest on his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

She broke on a single sob that felt as though she had been holding it in. "He wouldn't stop crying, Castle. How come he wouldn't stop?" Her fingers curled around his biceps, pulling her to him as if she was trying to fuse their bodies together. She needed the closeness, the comfort. "I tried everything…"

Castle hooked his arms under her knees and under her back, lifting her up as if she weighed nothing. She didn't fight. Instead, her nose pushed into his shoulder, her arms wrapping around his neck. He sat on the edge of the bed, Kate still cradled in his lap as he ran his hands over her bare back. They were definitely getting the sheets wet after the quick shower but Castle was far more concerned with Kate's state of mind.

"There's not a magic trick, Kate. Sometimes one thing will work, other times, something else will. It doesn't come down to you failing or anything like that." He tilted her head up from where it was resting on his chest. "You don't think you failed, do you?"

Her silence was his answer as was her downturned eyes. He gave her the most gentle, loving kiss he could manage.

"You know that's not true."

Castle wouldn't let her pull her head away as she shifted her eyes, refusing to meet his. "But he wouldn't go down until you showed up. You did something that I couldn't."

"That doesn't make you a bad mother." He pushed back his own exhaustion as he tugged her down so they were lying side by side. He made sure her head was still tucked against his upper arm, their legs twisting together. Her hair was a wet tangle over the pillow, but he figured they'd already gotten most of the sheets wet. The pillowcases wouldn't suffer. "Kate Beckett, you are the best mother I've seen. And I certainly would not pick another woman to have raising my children."

Her lips pressed against his pectorals as she used one arm to push up, half laying on him, half hovering over his right side. "I should hope you wouldn't want another woman around." He reached up to dash away another tear before it fell onto his chest. "And children? As in plural?"

His hand came up to cup the back of her head, not pulling her down, but happy just being threaded through her hair. "Eventually, yes. A whole horde of them, all with these pretty green eyes."

"Can we let this one get a little older before we start adding to the litter? You know, let me get back to work for at least a week before I have the need to tell O'Connor that I need to be back on desk-duty."

This time, he did push up to kiss her lips. "Of course, Kate. Now get back to sleep. He'll be down for at least an hour or two before he needs to be fed again."

Kate still looked anxious as he pulled the sheets up, as she curled onto her side with his arms around her. Her whisper was tired against his neck. "You'll wake me up when he does?"

"Of course. I'm sort of missing essential parts to quiet him when he wants to eat."

She smiled and he felt the band around his heart loosen with the expression, staying on his face even as she gave him a little shove. "You're such a man, Castle."

Kate burrowed back into his chest. "But thank you. For talking me off the ledge."

"Partners, Kate. It's what we do."

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><p>Three hours later, his cry came through the speaker of Castle's phone thanks to an app he had found. A new record for the month-old boy, he thought as he rolled over to hit the mute button. He used his feet to push the sheets down to the bottom of the bed and Kate instinctively huddled closer to him for warmth.<p>

"Kate, darling," he murmured, his mouth close to her ear, ruffling the still-drying strands. She moaned, turning over so she was on her back, her arm thrown out over her head, eyes fluttering open. "Roy's awake."

She nodded, obviously still sleepy as she rubbed at her eyes. "Can we do this together?" Her voice was heavy as she scooted to the edge of the bed, her gaze scanning the room for her robe. It was tossed over the armchair in the corner and she could feel Castle's eyes on her behind as she belted it.

Castle was already pulling his tee shirt back over his head, running a hand through his hair as he followed her out of the bedroom. "Of course we can."

He flipped the switch up enough for them to see by as she went to pick Roy up from the cradle. Kate sat in the rocking chair in the corner, tracing the tiny shell of Roy's ear as she whispered to him. Castle stood next to the changing table, transfixed. This wasn't the woman from just hours ago, broken down and hurting. This Kate knew what she was doing and that if she didn't get it right this time, Castle would have her back.

"What?" she asked quietly as Roy nursed. She had his head in the palm of her hand, using one foot to rock herself back and forth. Her head was resting on the back of the chair, her eyes narrow slits in the low light. He knew it was from fatigue, not suspicion.

He shook his head. "Nothing. Just you and him."

"That's why you're smiling like a fool?"

"I cannot stand against the picture you make," he said. "It's… Goodness, there's no words for it."

Kate grinned, ducking her head down to place her mouth next to Roy's cheek. "Hear that, baby? We've rendered the writer wordless. We should mark this in our calendar." When she raised her eyes to meet his brilliant blue ones in the darkness, Castle nearly staggered. "Castle, remind us to mark today in the calendar as a new holiday, okay?"

"Of course. Mock me while you can." His words lost their threatening tone when combined with puppy-dog eyes.

She pushed out of the chair, holding a hand out. "Got one of those rags nearby?"

Castle turned and took one of the soft blue squares from the drawer behind him, handing it over to her. She draped it over her shoulder, shifting Roy up so he was balanced against her chest. On her third pace back toward him, Kate pushed up on the balls of her feet to kiss his cheek.

"Thank you, Castle. Again."

He wrapped a hand around her wrist to give her a tug back against him. "I love you, too," he said as he kissed her. Just as Roy burped on her shoulder.

This time, bodies shook with laughter, her head resting on his shoulder as he rubbed Roy's back, barely holding in the fit of giggles so that Roy would go back to sleep easily.

"Real charmer we have here," Kate mentioned, turning her head to dab at Roy's mouth with the corner of the rag. "Takes after his father, I should think."

She placed Roy back in the cradle, watching his brown eyes drift shut before covering him with his blanket. Kate went to turn and found herself against Castle's chest, trapped with her back to the side of the cradle.

"Woman, you will pay for all of these comments one day."

Kate ducked out from under his arms, tapping him on the nose. "All talk, no action."

She was barely able to contain her shriek of laughter as he chased her down the stairs, catching her around the waist in the living room. Kate was still giggling as he kissed her, making a path down from her lips to her jaw and throat, nipping at the thin skin of her collar.

"Mmmm… Castle," she moaned, her lower lip caught between her teeth, a poor attempt at hiding her smile.

He let go of her waist and she ran to the bedroom. This time, he tackled her to the bed, pinning her hands next to her head as he growled out her name.

"You're a cheater, Kate Beckett."

She rubbed her nose against his. "You love it." In a move so quick he didn't have the chance to see it coming, Kate had flipped them, her hair dangling down so strands fell into his mouth and tickled his nose. "Now leave me alone so I can get some sleep."

Just as quickly, she was off him and cuddled under the blankets, her eyes closed as she wiggled her head against the pillow to snuggle in. Castle couldn't resist trailing a finger up her thigh before flopping next to her.

"And a tease, too."

Her voice was quiet and sleepy. "You love it."


End file.
